Tips for Emotional Resilience

I know my blog is called "Subete no mono" which means "Everything", but I am going to continue on the mental health subject for awhile. If you read the description it does claim that my blog is about whatever is on my mind, so still eventually I will get to everything. Right now my mind is focused on talking about mental health, so let's continue on that. Tonight I am talking about Emotional Resilience.

What are some tips on how to be emotionally resilient?

Focus on what you can control, not what's out of your control: Don't focus on the things out of your hands. For example: you cannot control the people around you. They make their own decisions, so don't cause yourself anxiety because of them. Your main focus is yourself; you can control your own decisions.

Use events as learning experiences: Be flexible and open-minded. Don't let things of the past consume you. Learn from them and move on. Don't worry, I'm still working on this one myself, and I'm sure I'll talk about some of these events later on.

Alter your perceptions: A very awesome quote that my counselors told me was by a man from 1 A.D. named Epictetus. He stated, "It is not events which disturb us, but our view of those events." Events don't control us, our view of them does. Change our views and we can regain control. Try to find the good in a bad situation.

Limit the hostility factor: Negativity and anger is more harmful to yourself than anyone else. Try to avoid negative focus.

Accept limitations: We aren't perfect. None of us are. Accept this and you will make your life a whole lot easier. We can only strive to be the best we can be.

Develop compassion: Resist the need to be critical. Choose being kind of being right. Believe, this works out for everyone.

Develop good self-care habits: Take care of the needs of your mind, body, and spirit. Eat well, exercise, get sleep, take breaks from work, etc. Set the limits you need, prioritize, and delegate. You need to take care of yourself. One thing I learned is that your mood can be affected by your physical health and mental health and spirituality. It's all connected. It's all important.

Don't isolate yourself: I fall into this a lot. When I am depressed I tend to isolate myself and it only ever makes things worse. As God said in the book of Genesis, we are not made to be alone, so stop trying!

Look for the humor in things: Life is too serious to be taken too seriously! So lighten up and enjoy things!

 These sharks are funny. :) Laugh a little.

Develop mindfulness: This is the last on my list. Learn to live in the present. Don't live in the past. Watch your thoughts an respond to them in a positive manner. How can you respond to negative self-talk? That's something for another day, so stay tuned. ;)

Be AWARE of Your Anxiety

I deal with anxiety and depression. I have been dealing with these things throughout my life and I probably always will, but I am learning on how to deal with these things, how to not let them control me, but I to control them.

For the sake of the title, let's start with talking about anxiety, shall we? With a counseling program I involved myself in, myself and a group of others my age were taught a lesson on dealing with anxiety. We were told to be AWARE. Let me walk you through what that means.

A: Accept the anxiety

This is simple in concept, but maybe not as simple in practice. The idea is to, as it says, accept that you are dealing with anxiety. Don't reject or resist it. By doing that you prolong the effects of it and make it responsible of how you think, feel, and act. By accepting it, you open things up to dealing with it and moving on from it. 

W: Watch your anxiety

Look at your anxiety without judgement. Trust me, judging it would just make things worse. Instead try to look at your thoughts, feelings, and actions as if you are a friendly, but not overly concerned bystander. The point is to be in the anxiety state, but not of it. Just observe yourself and try to understand you.

A: Act with the anxiety

 The point of this is to act as if you are not anxious; function with it. Sounds easier said than done, right? I would agree, but it's important and I never claimed any of this was easy. This all requires work and effort. Here's some tips that were given to us on this step. Breathe slowly and normally. Watch your breathing. If you do, it will make you feel more calm. Why do you think they talk about breathing control in Tai Chi and all that? Because it is relaxing. Also, slow down if you have to, but keep going on with your day. Don't let the anxiety crush your day. If you run from the situation, your anxiety will just go up, but if you stay and deal with it, your anxiety will go down. I promise.

R: Repeat the steps

I am going to assume that I do not need to explain this one. Cool beans, let's continue!

E: Expect the anxiety

So you have done all of the above until your anxiety has come to a comfortable level. What now? You expect it for next time. Chances are that your anxiety will return. That is just a fact of life, so expect it. By expecting future anxiety, you are putting yourself in a good position to accept it when it returns. Making this whole process way easier! That would be awesome!!

Anxiety is a struggle that is hard to overcome, but I hope that this helps any who read this. I believe it helped me to understand myself more and to deal with my anxiety as it comes. Do I still struggle? Yes, I do. I am still learning and figuring things out, but I like to think I can handle it better now.